20, 2003 - Fox News' Bill O'Reilly Apologizes
Update: Astoundingly, Fox New's Bill O'Reilly came very
close to apologizing to the American people as he pledged to do
if no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq. The best
his latest book after a speech in San Francisco on Nov 20,
Well known host of the
Fox News program The O'Reilly Factor, Bill
O'Reilly, apologized to the nation during a speech and book
signing in San Francisco on Nov 20, 2003, saying he no longer trusts
The apology was prompted
by statements O'Reilly made earlier this year that he would apologize
to the nation and never trust Bush, or the Bush administration again,
if weapons of mass destruction were not found in Iraq.
Protesters in support
of O'Reilly gathered outside San Francisco's Masonic Auditorium
to voice, in a truly San Francisco way, their deep appreciation
and admiration for O'Reilly.
In a strange twist O'Reilly
also stated that he has come to believe that "Fox News distorts
the news," he is really a secular leftist, and that Noam Chomsky
is just "really cool."
This was quite a shock
to some of O'Reilly's fans, though, most were quick to forgive him
because, as one woman exclaimed, "he's really hot!"
After the speech O'Reilly
was able to spend several hours signing books for his legions of
adoring fans who apparently listened to, or at least heard, an entirely
different speech, as they seemed oddly nonplused by his out of character
his change of heart under the banner of the event sponsor,
"Oh he's just joking
you liberal loser" a belligerent gentleman in a rather expensive
suit said to a certain corespondent.
"Oh yeah, well you're
an idiotic ditto-head!" the correspondent yelled back.
"That's Rush dumbass!"
"Who you calling
I...err... I mean the
correspondent was summarily ejected from the auditorium. This was
just as well as there was much more important news to cover like
the travails of Michael Jackson, and the next enthralling twist
in the Laci Peterson case.